The recent loss of lives in Kokstad, together with the disturbing incidents of violence against women and children across South Africa has placed community safety firmly at the centre of public concern.
This is a time for Kokstad to be vigilant, responsible and united. It is a time to protect life, speak up against violence and refuse to allow dangerous behaviour to become normalised. Most importantly, men must take a stand. Men have a critical role to play in ending violence against women and children.
Violence is not an expression of masculinity. It is not a demonstration of strength, love, authority or respect. A disagreement, rejection, relationship breakdown, jealousy, anger or the use of alcohol can never justify assault, sexual violence, intimidation or murder. Men must learn to walk away from situations that are escalating rather than allowing anger to become violence. Men must seek help when struggling with anger, alcohol abuse, relationships or conflict.
Men must also challenge friends, brothers, colleagues and other men when they speak about women in degrading ways or make threats of violence. If you know that someone is threatening a woman, abusing a child or planning to hurt another person, do not wait until someone loses their life. Report it.
Intervene safely. Seek assistance. Men must also teach boys that respect is not about controlling a woman. Boys must grow up understanding that consent matters, that women are not possessions and that disagreements do not give anyone the right to use violence.
Look out for your friends. If a friend is intoxicated or in an unsafe environment, do not simply leave her behind. Make arrangements to ensure that she gets home safely or is with someone she trusts.
Women should also take threats, stalking, harassment and controlling behaviour seriously. Abuse does not begin only when someone is physically assaulted. Threats, intimidation, excessive control, isolation and repeated harassment can be warning signs. At the same time, women must never be blamed for the violence committed against them.
A woman’s clothing, social life, decision to drink alcohol, relationship status, location or the time she is outside does not give anyone permission to harm her. The community must also confront the relationship between excessive alcohol consumption, conflict and violence.
Being drunk does not excuse violence. If alcohol is causing repeated fights, domestic violence, reckless behaviour or unsafe situations, families and individuals must seek help before tragedy occurs.
Friends also have a responsibility. If someone is heavily intoxicated, vulnerable or unable to make safe decisions, do not abandon them. Residents are urged to report crimes, threats, domestic violence, child abuse and suspicious activity. For a police emergency, call 10111. SAPS confirms that 10111 is available for police emergencies.
To report crime anonymously, contact Crime Stop on 08600 10111. For Gender-Based Violence support and counselling, contact the GBV Command Centre on 0800 428 428 or dial *120*7867# for the free Please Call Me service.
For domestic violence, SAPS lists the Domestic Violence Helpline: 0800 150 150. For child abuse and child protection, contact Childline on 116. For a medical emergency, call 112 from a cellphone or 10177 for an ambulance. Safety begins before the emergency.
Kokstad must be a community where people look after one another, where women and children can live without fear, and where men understand that strength is demonstrated through responsibility, self-control, protection and respect, not violence.
Let the message be clear: violence is not a private family matter. Silence is not protection.
And prevention must begin before another life is lost. Protect life. Protect women. Protect children. Speak up. Report violence. Stand against abuse.
Till next time!
